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i'm the calm before the storm... [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

[ website | life through my lens ]
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(no subject) [Aug. 2nd, 2005|06:16 pm]
Ten years ago, I:
1. was 10
2. was getting ready to change schools...to thms
3. went to camp for the third summer in a row...<3ccl

Five years ago, I:
1. had just started working at extended day
2. was a freshman in high school
3. couldn't have expected the next five years to be as awesome as they are

One year ago, I:
1. was working at extended day
2. gearing up for my second year at umd
3. was very content with a lot of pieces of my life

So far this year, I:
1. had a lot of stuff jumbled around in my life
2. found the best friends i've ever had <--agree.
3. changed my views on a lot of different topics

Yesterday, I:
1. worked
2. laughed. a lot. that's what happens when you put shauna, charles, lara, saraht and me together
3. needed waaaaay more sleep

Today, I:
1. went to the pawsox game with work
2. saw JP AND TARAH there!
3. am making plans for tonight

Tomorrow, I:
1. am working
2. going out with sethypants
3. most likely crying because the aforementioned party is moving to KEY WEST

In one year, I:
1. will be entering my senior year...eek
2. i have no idea.
3. i have no idea.

In five years, I:
1. will have graduated
2. and possibly have finished my masters
3. and that's all i got.
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(no subject) [Jul. 30th, 2005|02:58 pm]
so. today's the day. it's officially the day of the goodbye party for sethy and the boys that are leaving.

i'm already a mess. i have been. i will be.
everything's a mess, but everything isn't all at the same time.

i think i'm changing my major.
i think i'm actually going to be living here next summer.

me and sarah had this ridiculously long, amazing conversation at dunkins last night.
we are so so so so so different.
but i think that's what makes us that much better at being friends.

we have different views on everything.
she believes that everything happens for a reason.
i believe that somewhere along the line i fucked up, and that's why stuff happens, not because it was meant to be.
she believes everyone in her life is supposed to be there for a reason, too.
i believe that there are people that i don't have in my life that i used to that are still supposed to be here, but i fucked something up.
and i believe that there are people that are in my life that don't belong there.

isn't that weird?
not necessarily pessimistic, because it's not like that.
it's just so weird.
i have the weirdest views on everything.

everything happens for a reason?
i want to know then...i want to know why people die, why you get in car accidents, why you lose something important, why the people that mean the most to you at the time tend to drift away...why did all of those things happen?

it's so difficult to explain.

but it's time for me to go to new bedford.
to see my love and my like and the rest of my favorites.
love, m
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(no subject) [Jul. 21st, 2005|11:57 pm]
congratulations to my jillypants for getting her job :)
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(no subject) [Jul. 6th, 2005|09:35 pm]
i love honest, genuine people.
the ones that will tell you you have food stuck in your teeth.
who have a good time,
and don't shit on the people that will always be there for them.

those are my favorite people in the whole world.
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(no subject) [Jul. 4th, 2005|11:46 am]
i promised myself i would never put myself in a situation where i'd feel like i wanted to write about this again.

but i did.

it's the same old bullshit, over and over again. and it makes me think this time. yeah, i got angry...there's nothing new with that. yeah i yelled and threw some shitty names around, that i probably should have thought twice about. but then i think about it more. and i was upset last nite. not upset, more angry. but i expect it so much now, that i don't get as upset. which is so unhealthy.

you're a big boy, you make your own decisions. and if they don't involve me at all anymore, there's nothing i can do about it. i'm a fucking pro at losing and gaining friends. i should be used to it by now. and i'm really kind of proud that more than half of me accepts the fact that we just can't do it anymore. if in your heart, there's no time for me...then it's just not going to work, this whole simply being friends thing. which is ridiculous, because it doesn't take much, and i lowered my expectations to friggin ground level lately...but if that's the way it's going to be, i'm okay. because it's not always going to be on your time, and when you want to hang out and be friends. when you come back around, i'm not going to be able to say anything this time, because you said it all.

and it's fucking crazy that the one girl in the whole world that i would not expect to leave me a message apologizing for what i probably felt like last nite makes me think even more that this really is the right decision for me. and i say it all the time, i say it's over. but a girl can only take so much. we're going on five years of being blown off and fucked over, and i can finally look at you with my head up and say it's over, it has to be this time.

with every goodbye, you learn.
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(no subject) [Jul. 3rd, 2005|04:56 pm]
soooo...lunenburg is boring.

sarah is in italy. until the 8th. i got a drunken call from the other side of the atlantic last nite...highly entertaining.

last nite i went to a tie-dye party. random, but you should see the mess you can make when you add beer, boys and tie dye...hilarious.

i'm going to school on tuesday nite. for the last day of orientation and such. and to see my favorites...'cause i miss them. a LOT.

the fourth of july is boring. there's like no one around...and my fam has never had any big plans or anything, so it's just a day i get off from work. which is 100% fine with me, trust me. family bbq tomorrow, then getting drunk & going to the fireworks. same old, same old lol.

ok i'm smelly and sweaty from the gym and i need to shower.
leave me some loooovin'
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(no subject) [Jun. 22nd, 2005|03:38 pm]

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(no subject) [Jun. 13th, 2005|08:11 pm]
that's right. michael jackson acquitted on all counts...i probably could have told you that four months ago.

did anyone ever think that the parents of these kids were ever at fault for letting their children hang out with, pop star or not, an older man they didn't know, or didn't know very well?

i'd be quoting my love when i say...leave the man alone, afterall, he made thriller.
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(no subject) [Jun. 12th, 2005|04:17 pm]
apparently i started buying stuff online through paypal...that stupid ebay credit card account...like four years ago. cause i went to register my credit card, and it said it was already registered with another user. naturally, i was like WHAT?! who stole my credit card. turns out it was me, back in 2001..with my old aol address. only fifteen minutes on hold with paypal, and i got the account cancelled. phew. i know you were all just as worried as i was.

so i had my physical appointment last week. turns out i have eczema, or however you spell it, now too. just piiiile on the problems. oh and you know how they do that thing where they hit your knee and it checks your reaction and it bounces up...well my knee doesn't do that. cooool.

in other news, i'm really bored in lunenburg. i have a ton of recruitment stuff to do. and a ton of cleaning and packing up stuff that i'll eventually get to.

but first i have more than a few people that i need, need, need to see.
and to explain why i'm a fucking douchebag, and why i haven't seen them yet.
and i believe that would be...ms. erica bergeron, ms. amanda ferrera & mr. mark deming.
hope you all don't hate me. : /

i need to shower. i just sweat my bum off at the gym...leave me some lovin'.
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(no subject) [Jun. 7th, 2005|12:52 am]

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